Today I went running back to the finish line of The TCS New York Marathon   I wasn’t sure how I would feel about visiting the same area that the race finishes at.image

Last time I was here I was filled with anger, despair and regret before I even stepped over the finish line.

I’ll be honest here, I am competitive. Not nessarily with other runners (not ruling that out though) but with myself.  Why run another 5k unless I’m going do beat my PR?  Maybe if I started running earlier in life (I started at 51) I’d have the running maturity to let that go.  For this race, my first marathon I was going to finish with a “respectable time” and train hard to insure that.

In hindsight I see that I had peaked by my 18 mile run.  Shortly after congratulating myself on a spectacular long run in 80 degree temps. I came down with shingles!  I still stuck to the schedule determined to not let that stop me.  Missing the obvious clue that my body needed rest.

Last November I came to New York already exhausted and filled with trepidation over the weather predictions for a windy run. And the wind did show up with impressive 40 mph gusts, which felt like a head wind the entire 26 miles.  I finished with gritted teeth and my hands in balled up fists like I was fighting for my life.  All I could think was “I’ll never do this again”.

As I ran today entering Central Park with the sun shining it was like I was seeing it with new eyes.  The anger and regret melting away with each foot fall like the snow in the park.  Maybe next time I’ll train a bit smarter.